So, for a long time now, I've been thinking about why we feel the need to please everyone... You will never be able to achieve perfect scores with everyone in your life, you will always be letting someone down with an act or decisions to make... But that doesn't make you a bad person.
It's taken me 5 whole years to figure this out. In year 7 I was the girl who was different with everyone and while that method served me reasonably well, it was exhausting!!! Having 18 different personalities is no holiday... And it ended up backfiring... You get caught out doing that kind of thing and instead of being the cool calm and collected person your teachers think you are, you let your game down and give them an overload of sass that would have gotten a high five from your bestie but winds you up in a lunch time detention with your favourite teacher...
After 5 years of mulling this over, I'm ok that with the thought that I've become a quirky, OCD, neurotic and slightly ditzy young woman. And I've been lucky enough that my closest friends have just accepted that.
I am now the same person with my family that I am at school with my friends because they have become like family and I owe that level of honesty to them.
Just like Beyoncé says "I'm comfortable in my skin"
I think it took me this long to figure out who I am because we are taught to care what others think of us. But I've come to realise that it doesn't matter what others think of me because I will never apologise for who I am because I'm me. And if that's not enough for you then I'm better off with our you.
I'm going to leave you with the wise words of the BEAUTIFUL Ricky Martin - It's none of my business what others think of me.
Xoxo
Liv
Sunday, 18 May 2014
Sunday, 4 May 2014
Wait, don't you have to be old to have that?!
Hey guys,
So in my last post I mentioned that I have Arthritis. After I say that to someone new it's usually at this point when they give me one or both of the following remarks:
1 - Wait, don't you have to be really old to have that? Like, Grandma old?!
OR
2 - Oh! I know what that is! My dog has it!
While I'm deeply flattered to be compared to both your dog and Grandma, the lack of knowledge about JUVENILE Arthritis is slightly worrying...
So, I am 17 (18 in T-256 days and counting) and was diagnosed when I was 2. That means I've had it for almost 16 years so I like to think of myself as a bit of an expert...
Since being diagnosed at 2 I have been through countless operations, injections, pills, treatments and I've EVEN tried aromatherapy! It's been a long hard road but after 15ish years we have it under control (most days).
So, lets start from the very beginning (Hands up who just sung that? Love a bit of Julie Andrews!!!)
My Mum and Dad decided to take me to the doctor because the few words I had mastered my the age of two were "ouch" "sore" "hurt" and I also cried a lot more that their angel of a first born! ( FYI - I will poke fun at my brother, but I LOVE him to bits!!!)
The doctor, after a few needles and a bit of a cry (from me, not the doc...) quickly diagnosed me with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis, Which I can only imagine would have been very scary for any parents to hear...
I obviously don't really remember much of the first few years as I was just a toddler but the things I do remember involve pain and hospitals...
By the time I was 8. I was on a cocktail of drugs which only 1 or 2 were actually helping my arthritis and pain management, the rest were all fighting each others side effects. As a result of this daily intake i started to get very sick. I was throwing up blood and couldn't keep anything down because all of those pills had developed a stomach ulcer, which was no picnic... so I had my very first operation - a gastroscopy. As I was 8 I didn't quick understand what was going on... the only thing I was concerned about was coming up with a name for my new stuffed doll that a 'Clown' gave me in the waiting room (His name is George and I still have him!). after the operation I woke up so groggy I was unable to support myself enough to sit up! But I had some green jelly and went home with some new medicines and a smile on my face.
A few years down the track and I'm 12, starting high school all bright eyed and bushy tailed, with a new drug called Enbrel, which was an injection i had to have twice a week. The new drug was awesome! It seriously helped my Arthritis and i was doing well. It did however have some side effect such as feeling VERY nauseous and worst of all a suppressed immune system which meant i caught ever cold and flu going around... I managed to survive year 7 with only a few torn ligaments and rolled ankles and by the end of the year I was feeling very grown up and excited to not be at the bottom of the school... I was totally unprepared for what was to come in year 8...
In Year 8 I was given the opportunity to fly halfway across the world to sing with my choir in Canterbury Cathedral! I was chuffed to say the least!!! The trip went for three weeks and I was still on Enbrel and traveling with it was very difficult - Getting through security at the airports was a nightmare because I had to have it in my hand luggage and they tend to frown upon sharp objects in you carry on... But we got there did the tour and a lot of walking around Europe and the UK which I managed to get through, unscathed. As we boarded our 26 hour flight home, we hopped into a flying germ carrier and for someone who doesn't have a working immune system was not ideal. By the time i got to the other end - looking very dehydrated and a bit green around the gills, but I was on the road to recovery... And the it hit me... I had caught Pneumonia on the plane... I had never been so unwell in my life! it was not a pretty sight and subsequently i missed around 6 weeks of school.
After I had fully recovered - we went back to my Doctor and discussed a new drug which would have much the same side effects but i only need an injection 2 a month - which was a huge improvement and very, very exciting!!!!
This new wonder drug is call Humira. It has completely and totally enhanced my life! I have very little pain anymore and am attending school almost full time - which is a huge deal for me...
I Have Humira twice a month via injection to the abdomen and it only hurts a little bit :)
It's been a LONG journey and its not stopping anytime soon, which is partly why I started this blog... While i am alive - kicking and fighting I want to document how wonderful life can be because when you have a 'crippling' disability it can get hard to look on the bright side of things...
If you have any questions, please don't be afraid to ask!
xoxo
Liv
So in my last post I mentioned that I have Arthritis. After I say that to someone new it's usually at this point when they give me one or both of the following remarks:
1 - Wait, don't you have to be really old to have that? Like, Grandma old?!
OR
2 - Oh! I know what that is! My dog has it!
While I'm deeply flattered to be compared to both your dog and Grandma, the lack of knowledge about JUVENILE Arthritis is slightly worrying...
So, I am 17 (18 in T-256 days and counting) and was diagnosed when I was 2. That means I've had it for almost 16 years so I like to think of myself as a bit of an expert...
Since being diagnosed at 2 I have been through countless operations, injections, pills, treatments and I've EVEN tried aromatherapy! It's been a long hard road but after 15ish years we have it under control (most days).
So, lets start from the very beginning (Hands up who just sung that? Love a bit of Julie Andrews!!!)
My Mum and Dad decided to take me to the doctor because the few words I had mastered my the age of two were "ouch" "sore" "hurt" and I also cried a lot more that their angel of a first born! ( FYI - I will poke fun at my brother, but I LOVE him to bits!!!)
The doctor, after a few needles and a bit of a cry (from me, not the doc...) quickly diagnosed me with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis, Which I can only imagine would have been very scary for any parents to hear...
I obviously don't really remember much of the first few years as I was just a toddler but the things I do remember involve pain and hospitals...
By the time I was 8. I was on a cocktail of drugs which only 1 or 2 were actually helping my arthritis and pain management, the rest were all fighting each others side effects. As a result of this daily intake i started to get very sick. I was throwing up blood and couldn't keep anything down because all of those pills had developed a stomach ulcer, which was no picnic... so I had my very first operation - a gastroscopy. As I was 8 I didn't quick understand what was going on... the only thing I was concerned about was coming up with a name for my new stuffed doll that a 'Clown' gave me in the waiting room (His name is George and I still have him!). after the operation I woke up so groggy I was unable to support myself enough to sit up! But I had some green jelly and went home with some new medicines and a smile on my face.
A few years down the track and I'm 12, starting high school all bright eyed and bushy tailed, with a new drug called Enbrel, which was an injection i had to have twice a week. The new drug was awesome! It seriously helped my Arthritis and i was doing well. It did however have some side effect such as feeling VERY nauseous and worst of all a suppressed immune system which meant i caught ever cold and flu going around... I managed to survive year 7 with only a few torn ligaments and rolled ankles and by the end of the year I was feeling very grown up and excited to not be at the bottom of the school... I was totally unprepared for what was to come in year 8...
In Year 8 I was given the opportunity to fly halfway across the world to sing with my choir in Canterbury Cathedral! I was chuffed to say the least!!! The trip went for three weeks and I was still on Enbrel and traveling with it was very difficult - Getting through security at the airports was a nightmare because I had to have it in my hand luggage and they tend to frown upon sharp objects in you carry on... But we got there did the tour and a lot of walking around Europe and the UK which I managed to get through, unscathed. As we boarded our 26 hour flight home, we hopped into a flying germ carrier and for someone who doesn't have a working immune system was not ideal. By the time i got to the other end - looking very dehydrated and a bit green around the gills, but I was on the road to recovery... And the it hit me... I had caught Pneumonia on the plane... I had never been so unwell in my life! it was not a pretty sight and subsequently i missed around 6 weeks of school.
After I had fully recovered - we went back to my Doctor and discussed a new drug which would have much the same side effects but i only need an injection 2 a month - which was a huge improvement and very, very exciting!!!!
This new wonder drug is call Humira. It has completely and totally enhanced my life! I have very little pain anymore and am attending school almost full time - which is a huge deal for me...
I Have Humira twice a month via injection to the abdomen and it only hurts a little bit :)
It's been a LONG journey and its not stopping anytime soon, which is partly why I started this blog... While i am alive - kicking and fighting I want to document how wonderful life can be because when you have a 'crippling' disability it can get hard to look on the bright side of things...
If you have any questions, please don't be afraid to ask!
xoxo
Liv
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