Sometimes, arthritis is pretty horrible.
Sometimes when I wake up I go to check my phone in the morning and it feels like one of the hardest things in the world, I have to lift up my arm with my shoulder, stretch out my elbow to get to my bedside table and attempt to pick up my phone with my nibbley-knobbly, boney fingers... This tends to feel like nails running down a chalk board or two pieces of Styrofoam screeching together... Which as you can now imagine, is quite painful. It absolutely sucks.
I recently read a very sweet picture story book called 'The worst pain in the world' by Nicky Johnson. This book follows the story of a little girl called Bella. Bella has arthritis, but Bella is having a birthday party and is very excited. On the morning of her much anticipated party she wakes up very stiff and sore and that means she can't go jumping on the bouncy castle. For Bella, missing out on the fun is the worst pain in the world.
While this is extremely accurate and made me cry a little while reading this as I have been in Bella's shoes and know how authentic that pain is... As I have grown up, the worst pain in the world for me has been 'being different'. I've spent my life trying to be as normal as possible and if that means I have to pretend that I'm not in immense pain so I can fit in, so be it.
Having and invisible illness is hard. People don't believe you... I appear to be a young healthy and fit teenager but I'm so not. It's also very confronting. It can show you how judgmental people can be. I remember vividly one day having to walk from school to the local train station in intense pain and getting onto the train and being almost on the verge of tears because the 'disabled' seat was free. So I hobble over to it, dump my bag on the ground next to it and collapse into the welcoming seat. Not one stop later I was asked to vacate my golden chair for an elderly person because I was a, and I quote "Young lass". Being a polite person I collected my full, heavy school bag and went and leaned against the door just hoping for the ground to open up and swallow me... My pain is real. My pain is harrowing. Just because you can't see my pain, doesn't mean it's not there.
Being in pain means that I can't do normal things. Like sports with other kids or sometimes even going shopping with friends is too much... that's probably more upsetting than sports... shopping is my sport :P *Thank you online shopping* but it also means that I can be in too much pain to do important things like get to school or eat.
Recently my current medications which I've now been on for a few years, haven't been working as well... I notice them wearing off before its time for a new injection and that's worrying because it means it's time to look for a new 'wonder' drug and that can and probably will be a LONG and distressing process but its all worth it in the long run so I can have the most normal life possible.
After all of that, do you know what the best benefit in the world is? Having people in your life that are supportive. In that sense, I am the luckiest girl in the world. So a huge shout out to my immediate family, Mum, Dad, Luke and the grandparents who have been my number one fans from the moment I graced the world. Another shout out to my incredible boyfriend, Arnold, who has shown me nothing but love and understanding. And one final shout out to my wonderful friends, particularly Lucy and Sarah who have never doubted me and who have ALWAYS been there. I love you all dearly and there is now way in the world I would be literally standing on my feet without any of you.
xoxo,
Liv
Wednesday, 19 November 2014
Tuesday, 16 September 2014
HARRY POTTER TAG! :D
Hi there :)
So, I LOVE Harry Potter... More than most normal people... But then again... I'm not terribly normal.
Therefore I thought it was about time I did the Harry Potter Tag! :D
I hope you enjoy :)
Favourite Book?
Well, the third book holds a special place in my heart because it was the first novel type book i ever read to myself... the previous two were read to me as I was about 7 when I started.
Favourite Movie?
My favourite movie was the last two or the 7th (I'm counting them as one) as the book was SO visual it was just a treat to be able to watch it unfold in front of me... A feast for the eyes, if you will.
My favourite movie was the last two or the 7th (I'm counting them as one) as the book was SO visual it was just a treat to be able to watch it unfold in front of me... A feast for the eyes, if you will.
Least Favourite Book?
Even though its my least favourite book... I'd like to state that its still a bloody brilliant book but... The 4th book is probably my least favourite, just because of the sheer volume of it...
Parts of the books/movies that made you cry?
The first book I cried in was the fifth and it was all down hill from there...
The first book I cried in was the fifth and it was all down hill from there...
5th - When Sirius died... all the feels...
6th - When Dumbledore died and everyone in the school raised their wands to remove the dark mark... That moment was done so beautifully in the movies!
7th - From Dobby's death till then end (just about) In the battle of Hogwarts, when harry died in the forbidden forest, when Hagrid was carrying Harry back, Neville's speech, When Fred, Tonks, Lupin and everyone else died... Just all the emotions... I probably cried the hardest in the 19 years later part as it meant that it was all over, my childhood ended when i closed that book for the first time... :'(
If you could hook up with any HP character who would it be?
Obviously it would be George Weasley... Because he is hilarious and who doesn't want to be part of that family?!
What would your Patronus be?
My patronus has always been a lion.
My patronus has always been a lion.
If you could have the Resurrection Stone, Invisibility Cloak or the Elder Wand which one would you choose?
I would probably choose the Resurrection stone because i constantly live in fear of the people i love dying...
I would probably choose the Resurrection stone because i constantly live in fear of the people i love dying...
What's your Hogwarts house?
Gryffindor Represent!!! I've actually been sorted into two houses, Ravenclaw and Gryffindor but as the sorting hat takes your wishes into consideration when sorting you, I would have picked Gryffindor because who doesn't want to be greeted by a cheering Weasley family?! (Can you tell how much I want to be a Weasley?! Ginny and I would be best friends and Christmas time would be so great and Mr Weasley is just so fantastic!)
If you could meet any member of the cast, who would it be?
I would LOVE to meet Alan Rickman but i would probably just fangirl REALLY hard... and then faint :P
I would LOVE to meet Alan Rickman but i would probably just fangirl REALLY hard... and then faint :P
Have you ever played any of the video games?
I have never personally played them but I used to watch my brother play the Goblet of Fire one
I have never personally played them but I used to watch my brother play the Goblet of Fire one
If you were on the Quiddich team, Which position would you play?
Well first off - i would TOTALLY be on the Quiddich team and i would probably play as a chaser.
Well first off - i would TOTALLY be on the Quiddich team and i would probably play as a chaser.
Were you happy with the ending?
Yes. Very. JK Rowling did a beautiful job at tying everything in a nice, neat and emotional bow and it made be very happy :')
Yes. Very. JK Rowling did a beautiful job at tying everything in a nice, neat and emotional bow and it made be very happy :')
How much does Harry Potter mean to you?
HARRY. POTTER. IS. LIFE. I can't even begin to explain the feelings I have for HP and the magical word that JK Rowling let me into... she gave me a place to escape to that was just so easy to become engrossed in. I will forever be thankful and in debt to that amazing woman.
HARRY. POTTER. IS. LIFE. I can't even begin to explain the feelings I have for HP and the magical word that JK Rowling let me into... she gave me a place to escape to that was just so easy to become engrossed in. I will forever be thankful and in debt to that amazing woman.
Well, there you go... That got a little emotional :P
I hope you enjoyed...
Catch ya l8r,
Liv xoxo
P.S I have attached an image that I decided to recreate and have not shared anywhere else on the internet because I consider it thoroughly embarrassing
!... so this is a one off exclusive! :P ( don't judge me too heavily!)
 |
| It's LeviOsa, not LevioSA! goodness! |
Sunday, 18 May 2014
I'm comfortable in my skin!
So, for a long time now, I've been thinking about why we feel the need to please everyone... You will never be able to achieve perfect scores with everyone in your life, you will always be letting someone down with an act or decisions to make... But that doesn't make you a bad person.
It's taken me 5 whole years to figure this out. In year 7 I was the girl who was different with everyone and while that method served me reasonably well, it was exhausting!!! Having 18 different personalities is no holiday... And it ended up backfiring... You get caught out doing that kind of thing and instead of being the cool calm and collected person your teachers think you are, you let your game down and give them an overload of sass that would have gotten a high five from your bestie but winds you up in a lunch time detention with your favourite teacher...
After 5 years of mulling this over, I'm ok that with the thought that I've become a quirky, OCD, neurotic and slightly ditzy young woman. And I've been lucky enough that my closest friends have just accepted that.
I am now the same person with my family that I am at school with my friends because they have become like family and I owe that level of honesty to them.
Just like Beyoncé says "I'm comfortable in my skin"
I think it took me this long to figure out who I am because we are taught to care what others think of us. But I've come to realise that it doesn't matter what others think of me because I will never apologise for who I am because I'm me. And if that's not enough for you then I'm better off with our you.
I'm going to leave you with the wise words of the BEAUTIFUL Ricky Martin - It's none of my business what others think of me.
Xoxo
Liv
It's taken me 5 whole years to figure this out. In year 7 I was the girl who was different with everyone and while that method served me reasonably well, it was exhausting!!! Having 18 different personalities is no holiday... And it ended up backfiring... You get caught out doing that kind of thing and instead of being the cool calm and collected person your teachers think you are, you let your game down and give them an overload of sass that would have gotten a high five from your bestie but winds you up in a lunch time detention with your favourite teacher...
After 5 years of mulling this over, I'm ok that with the thought that I've become a quirky, OCD, neurotic and slightly ditzy young woman. And I've been lucky enough that my closest friends have just accepted that.
I am now the same person with my family that I am at school with my friends because they have become like family and I owe that level of honesty to them.
Just like Beyoncé says "I'm comfortable in my skin"
I think it took me this long to figure out who I am because we are taught to care what others think of us. But I've come to realise that it doesn't matter what others think of me because I will never apologise for who I am because I'm me. And if that's not enough for you then I'm better off with our you.
I'm going to leave you with the wise words of the BEAUTIFUL Ricky Martin - It's none of my business what others think of me.
Xoxo
Liv
Sunday, 4 May 2014
Wait, don't you have to be old to have that?!
Hey guys,
So in my last post I mentioned that I have Arthritis. After I say that to someone new it's usually at this point when they give me one or both of the following remarks:
1 - Wait, don't you have to be really old to have that? Like, Grandma old?!
OR
2 - Oh! I know what that is! My dog has it!
While I'm deeply flattered to be compared to both your dog and Grandma, the lack of knowledge about JUVENILE Arthritis is slightly worrying...
So, I am 17 (18 in T-256 days and counting) and was diagnosed when I was 2. That means I've had it for almost 16 years so I like to think of myself as a bit of an expert...
Since being diagnosed at 2 I have been through countless operations, injections, pills, treatments and I've EVEN tried aromatherapy! It's been a long hard road but after 15ish years we have it under control (most days).
So, lets start from the very beginning (Hands up who just sung that? Love a bit of Julie Andrews!!!)
My Mum and Dad decided to take me to the doctor because the few words I had mastered my the age of two were "ouch" "sore" "hurt" and I also cried a lot more that their angel of a first born! ( FYI - I will poke fun at my brother, but I LOVE him to bits!!!)
The doctor, after a few needles and a bit of a cry (from me, not the doc...) quickly diagnosed me with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis, Which I can only imagine would have been very scary for any parents to hear...
I obviously don't really remember much of the first few years as I was just a toddler but the things I do remember involve pain and hospitals...
By the time I was 8. I was on a cocktail of drugs which only 1 or 2 were actually helping my arthritis and pain management, the rest were all fighting each others side effects. As a result of this daily intake i started to get very sick. I was throwing up blood and couldn't keep anything down because all of those pills had developed a stomach ulcer, which was no picnic... so I had my very first operation - a gastroscopy. As I was 8 I didn't quick understand what was going on... the only thing I was concerned about was coming up with a name for my new stuffed doll that a 'Clown' gave me in the waiting room (His name is George and I still have him!). after the operation I woke up so groggy I was unable to support myself enough to sit up! But I had some green jelly and went home with some new medicines and a smile on my face.
A few years down the track and I'm 12, starting high school all bright eyed and bushy tailed, with a new drug called Enbrel, which was an injection i had to have twice a week. The new drug was awesome! It seriously helped my Arthritis and i was doing well. It did however have some side effect such as feeling VERY nauseous and worst of all a suppressed immune system which meant i caught ever cold and flu going around... I managed to survive year 7 with only a few torn ligaments and rolled ankles and by the end of the year I was feeling very grown up and excited to not be at the bottom of the school... I was totally unprepared for what was to come in year 8...
In Year 8 I was given the opportunity to fly halfway across the world to sing with my choir in Canterbury Cathedral! I was chuffed to say the least!!! The trip went for three weeks and I was still on Enbrel and traveling with it was very difficult - Getting through security at the airports was a nightmare because I had to have it in my hand luggage and they tend to frown upon sharp objects in you carry on... But we got there did the tour and a lot of walking around Europe and the UK which I managed to get through, unscathed. As we boarded our 26 hour flight home, we hopped into a flying germ carrier and for someone who doesn't have a working immune system was not ideal. By the time i got to the other end - looking very dehydrated and a bit green around the gills, but I was on the road to recovery... And the it hit me... I had caught Pneumonia on the plane... I had never been so unwell in my life! it was not a pretty sight and subsequently i missed around 6 weeks of school.
After I had fully recovered - we went back to my Doctor and discussed a new drug which would have much the same side effects but i only need an injection 2 a month - which was a huge improvement and very, very exciting!!!!
This new wonder drug is call Humira. It has completely and totally enhanced my life! I have very little pain anymore and am attending school almost full time - which is a huge deal for me...
I Have Humira twice a month via injection to the abdomen and it only hurts a little bit :)
It's been a LONG journey and its not stopping anytime soon, which is partly why I started this blog... While i am alive - kicking and fighting I want to document how wonderful life can be because when you have a 'crippling' disability it can get hard to look on the bright side of things...
If you have any questions, please don't be afraid to ask!
xoxo
Liv
So in my last post I mentioned that I have Arthritis. After I say that to someone new it's usually at this point when they give me one or both of the following remarks:
1 - Wait, don't you have to be really old to have that? Like, Grandma old?!
OR
2 - Oh! I know what that is! My dog has it!
While I'm deeply flattered to be compared to both your dog and Grandma, the lack of knowledge about JUVENILE Arthritis is slightly worrying...
So, I am 17 (18 in T-256 days and counting) and was diagnosed when I was 2. That means I've had it for almost 16 years so I like to think of myself as a bit of an expert...
Since being diagnosed at 2 I have been through countless operations, injections, pills, treatments and I've EVEN tried aromatherapy! It's been a long hard road but after 15ish years we have it under control (most days).
So, lets start from the very beginning (Hands up who just sung that? Love a bit of Julie Andrews!!!)
My Mum and Dad decided to take me to the doctor because the few words I had mastered my the age of two were "ouch" "sore" "hurt" and I also cried a lot more that their angel of a first born! ( FYI - I will poke fun at my brother, but I LOVE him to bits!!!)
The doctor, after a few needles and a bit of a cry (from me, not the doc...) quickly diagnosed me with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis, Which I can only imagine would have been very scary for any parents to hear...
I obviously don't really remember much of the first few years as I was just a toddler but the things I do remember involve pain and hospitals...
By the time I was 8. I was on a cocktail of drugs which only 1 or 2 were actually helping my arthritis and pain management, the rest were all fighting each others side effects. As a result of this daily intake i started to get very sick. I was throwing up blood and couldn't keep anything down because all of those pills had developed a stomach ulcer, which was no picnic... so I had my very first operation - a gastroscopy. As I was 8 I didn't quick understand what was going on... the only thing I was concerned about was coming up with a name for my new stuffed doll that a 'Clown' gave me in the waiting room (His name is George and I still have him!). after the operation I woke up so groggy I was unable to support myself enough to sit up! But I had some green jelly and went home with some new medicines and a smile on my face.
A few years down the track and I'm 12, starting high school all bright eyed and bushy tailed, with a new drug called Enbrel, which was an injection i had to have twice a week. The new drug was awesome! It seriously helped my Arthritis and i was doing well. It did however have some side effect such as feeling VERY nauseous and worst of all a suppressed immune system which meant i caught ever cold and flu going around... I managed to survive year 7 with only a few torn ligaments and rolled ankles and by the end of the year I was feeling very grown up and excited to not be at the bottom of the school... I was totally unprepared for what was to come in year 8...
In Year 8 I was given the opportunity to fly halfway across the world to sing with my choir in Canterbury Cathedral! I was chuffed to say the least!!! The trip went for three weeks and I was still on Enbrel and traveling with it was very difficult - Getting through security at the airports was a nightmare because I had to have it in my hand luggage and they tend to frown upon sharp objects in you carry on... But we got there did the tour and a lot of walking around Europe and the UK which I managed to get through, unscathed. As we boarded our 26 hour flight home, we hopped into a flying germ carrier and for someone who doesn't have a working immune system was not ideal. By the time i got to the other end - looking very dehydrated and a bit green around the gills, but I was on the road to recovery... And the it hit me... I had caught Pneumonia on the plane... I had never been so unwell in my life! it was not a pretty sight and subsequently i missed around 6 weeks of school.
After I had fully recovered - we went back to my Doctor and discussed a new drug which would have much the same side effects but i only need an injection 2 a month - which was a huge improvement and very, very exciting!!!!
This new wonder drug is call Humira. It has completely and totally enhanced my life! I have very little pain anymore and am attending school almost full time - which is a huge deal for me...
I Have Humira twice a month via injection to the abdomen and it only hurts a little bit :)
It's been a LONG journey and its not stopping anytime soon, which is partly why I started this blog... While i am alive - kicking and fighting I want to document how wonderful life can be because when you have a 'crippling' disability it can get hard to look on the bright side of things...
If you have any questions, please don't be afraid to ask!
xoxo
Liv
Wednesday, 23 April 2014
About Me :)
Hello There!
So, we have just met and i thought i would introduce myself properly... So here are my answers to the About Me Tag:
1. Do you have a middle name?
Yes, It's Louise :) I'm Olivia Louise after one of my parents' dearest friends Louise.
2. What is your Favorite subject in school?
My Favourite generic subject is English but my favourite elective is Psychology.
3. Whats your Favorite drink?
TEA! Any tea, mainly green tea and Earl Grey.
4. What is your Favorite song at the moment?
I am loving the song Rainmaker by Emmelie de Forest for Eurovision 2014
5. What would you name your kids?
I don't really want children but if I had some I would want a boy and a girl.
Girl - Josie Elle Anna
Boy - Neville Luke James
and whatever their last name is... :P
6. Do you participate in any sports?
No but I used to play netball and I really miss it.
7. Favorite Book?
Harry Potter
8. Favorite Color?
I have three that are tied - Pink, Orange and Oxblood
9. Favorite Animal?
Dogs
10. Favorite Perfume?
For a few years I have been wearing Daisy by Marc Jacobs but I have recently been loving The Body Shop's Moringa body spray :)
11. Favorite Holiday?
I LOVE Christmas - as I'm sure you'll find out!
12. Have you graduated high school?
Not yet - I'm in Year 11 and I am splitting my VCE into 3 years (2 is the norm) because I have health issues which i will eventually do another blog post on.
13. Have you ever been out of the country? if so how many times?
I have been lucky enough to enjoy 6 different countries. My First trip out of Australia was to Fiji in 2010 ans then in 2011 I went to Germany, Austria and the UK and i spent new years in China this year.
14. Do you speak any other language?
At school I learn German.
15. How many siblings do you have?
I have one older brother called Luke and he is my bestfriend in the whole world. He is almost 21 and is a Cellist.
16. What is your favorite store?
Thats a very hard question! I love a bit of online shopping and my favourite website to browse is blackmilkclothing.com
17. Favorite restaurant?
Anything Italian and with a welcoming vibe
18. Do you like school?
Yes and no. I think thats a typical response right? It's ok... I can think of better ways to spend my day though - Grey's Anatomy re-runs anyone?!?
19. Favorite youtuber?
Louise Sprinkleofglitter!
20. Favorite movie?
Casino Royale (2006)
21. Favorite TV show?
At the moment - Grey's Anatomy
22. PC or Mac?
I have to use a PC for school but I can't wait to buy my own MAC computer!!!
23. What kind of phone do you have?
Two Christmas' ago Santa thought i was good enough to have an iPhone 5! I still thank Santa every time I use it! haha
24. How tall are you?
I am 175cm Tall
Well there you go! almost everything you need to know about me!
xoxo
Liv.
So, we have just met and i thought i would introduce myself properly... So here are my answers to the About Me Tag:
1. Do you have a middle name?
Yes, It's Louise :) I'm Olivia Louise after one of my parents' dearest friends Louise.
2. What is your Favorite subject in school?
My Favourite generic subject is English but my favourite elective is Psychology.
3. Whats your Favorite drink?
TEA! Any tea, mainly green tea and Earl Grey.
4. What is your Favorite song at the moment?
I am loving the song Rainmaker by Emmelie de Forest for Eurovision 2014
5. What would you name your kids?
I don't really want children but if I had some I would want a boy and a girl.
Girl - Josie Elle Anna
Boy - Neville Luke James
and whatever their last name is... :P
6. Do you participate in any sports?
No but I used to play netball and I really miss it.
7. Favorite Book?
Harry Potter
8. Favorite Color?
I have three that are tied - Pink, Orange and Oxblood
9. Favorite Animal?
Dogs
10. Favorite Perfume?
For a few years I have been wearing Daisy by Marc Jacobs but I have recently been loving The Body Shop's Moringa body spray :)
11. Favorite Holiday?
I LOVE Christmas - as I'm sure you'll find out!
12. Have you graduated high school?
Not yet - I'm in Year 11 and I am splitting my VCE into 3 years (2 is the norm) because I have health issues which i will eventually do another blog post on.
13. Have you ever been out of the country? if so how many times?
I have been lucky enough to enjoy 6 different countries. My First trip out of Australia was to Fiji in 2010 ans then in 2011 I went to Germany, Austria and the UK and i spent new years in China this year.
14. Do you speak any other language?
At school I learn German.
15. How many siblings do you have?
I have one older brother called Luke and he is my bestfriend in the whole world. He is almost 21 and is a Cellist.
16. What is your favorite store?
Thats a very hard question! I love a bit of online shopping and my favourite website to browse is blackmilkclothing.com
17. Favorite restaurant?
Anything Italian and with a welcoming vibe
18. Do you like school?
Yes and no. I think thats a typical response right? It's ok... I can think of better ways to spend my day though - Grey's Anatomy re-runs anyone?!?
19. Favorite youtuber?
Louise Sprinkleofglitter!
20. Favorite movie?
Casino Royale (2006)
21. Favorite TV show?
At the moment - Grey's Anatomy
22. PC or Mac?
I have to use a PC for school but I can't wait to buy my own MAC computer!!!
23. What kind of phone do you have?
Two Christmas' ago Santa thought i was good enough to have an iPhone 5! I still thank Santa every time I use it! haha
24. How tall are you?
I am 175cm Tall
Well there you go! almost everything you need to know about me!
xoxo
Liv.
Tuesday, 22 April 2014
Hello There!
Hello There!
Its a dreary Wednesday afternoon and I'm snuggled up in my bed thinking about life and i had this sudden urge to start a blog about growing up.
This blog will my daily musings on the life of a typical Australian teenage girl becoming an adult.
I'm currently 17 and I'm at a point in my life where I'm starting to think about my future and just what the hell I'm doing with my life!
So, I hope you enjoy reading my twisted, neurotic, silly and sometimes just plain goofy thoughts.
I don'
t know what kind of content I want to be making but i'll keep you posted - get it?! hahaha!!!
xoxo
Liv.
Its a dreary Wednesday afternoon and I'm snuggled up in my bed thinking about life and i had this sudden urge to start a blog about growing up.
This blog will my daily musings on the life of a typical Australian teenage girl becoming an adult.
I'm currently 17 and I'm at a point in my life where I'm starting to think about my future and just what the hell I'm doing with my life!
So, I hope you enjoy reading my twisted, neurotic, silly and sometimes just plain goofy thoughts.
I don'
t know what kind of content I want to be making but i'll keep you posted - get it?! hahaha!!!
xoxo
Liv.
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